You should have accepted this by now!

You should have accepted this by now!

Piece by piece,

quietly, 

so no-one notices,

i'll leave.

They've got so use

to noticing me not, 

that it will be some time 

before they see i've gone.

And no amount of protestations,

were they all forewarned of my departure,

could convince me this is not the only thing to do

to shake the burden of my 'whole dependance'

'usefulness expended' millstone image of myself I view.

I saw first hand, in previous years

how 'whole dependancy' can eat a soul away;

the loss of independence is a canker

hidden from the view of all but who it feeds upon,

until it's host, when but a shell,

can find the hammer, to reduce the egg to dust

and then be gone.

Perhaps i'm weak,

should have, by now

accepted all my limitations,

just stuck out my chin

in preparation for the latest blow;

found something useful I can do

to fill the empty hours

that shaking hands, and foggy brain

are able to complete

without frustration at a stitch that's dropped

or flower painted on a card besmirched

and blotched.

But, if I Do accept my situation

and stop the angry, anguished cries;

frustration at continuing demise

of independence and abilities;

then have I not lost all my fight,

that keeps me 'sane' and

stops me disappearing out into the night?

So, if i'm just expected to

sit quietly, and not disturb the view,

then I will let you think that's so,

but, piece by piece 

i'll lose myself, and go.